fingers crossed

Too much caffeine and figuring out how to end world hunger was enough to keep me awake. For two weeks now, i have had (?) this sleeping problem and i seriously need some sleep. I gotta stop thinking man. Escapism. God. Help Me. And oh, suddenly i had this impulse of painting my room, PURPLE! I don't know, it seemed like, uhm, like princess-like. You know how every royalty needs to have something purple in their castle. Im not sure about todays generation tho. Maybe the only purple thing in royalties are panties or purple recyclable cups (i saw this one on E-bay which amounted to $14,000. Imagine that!) Or you know the cool thing would be, have my walls wallpapered with newspaper clippings. You know how some teen movies rooms looked so artistic in those. Well, reality check, they are messy! But last year, surprisingly, i didn't receive any violent reactions per se from my mom on vandalizing it literally with favorite book lines and crappy thoughts. But she did insist on putting something about her. Hahaha. How egocentric of my mother, right?

I'm guessing Christmas will be lonely this year. My brother and cousin Shayne cannot make it home. Buuuut, we have fairly numerous of "people" to fill in their absence. From the original trio (of two dogs and one (partly stray coz he's always out socializing with other cats) cat) we brought two hamsters! How cool is that, right? Seriously though, we still couldn't figure out if its hamsters or guinea pigs. They're freakin identical. Plus, were planning to extend our oh so loving family that were buying two white mice and one rabbit. So cool. Definitely zoo-like! My mom said if she'd win the lottery she'd brought me real life zoo-like place. Haha. Hello? Lottery? When's that gonna happen. Still, i'm having my fingers crossed.

I dont know, maybe its not all that bad. I'll be home with cousins, pets, and parents (who's still not talking by the way. I mean, what happened to the season of forgiving, right? Oh well. Its just a matter of getting used to. Hahaha) And oh, i'm looking forward on what will my cousin Era will cook. She always have this crazy ideas of cooking pasta or french sound-like menu. I just hope the Rachel Ray book works. Please just let it be something edible and make Christmas a toilet free day. If you know what i mean. Haha. I too am having my fingers crossed on that.


Ciao!

relentless possibilities.

WISH MAKING.

HAND HOLDING.

SPONTANEOUS STREET PARTYING

having moments.

they are made, not taken. given, created, cultivated, and curated. they can be stunning, striking, calming, or perplexing.

they intrigue. they inspire.

at this present you-know-what i find myself bundled in a blanket, cuddled on a couch, content with the day well lead, with a belly full of spaghetti (how long has it been oh favorite pasta of mine?).

life is a kick, ain't it?

a true trip.

the next few steps are coming into focus. i'm doing again a little more (back in historic go-mode), got a little more enthusiasm about projects in production (i'll post a few examples soon), and am generally, you know, stoked. this rainy wonderland atmosphere isn't hurting.

happy sunday, it is positively spilling over with possibility.

for this moment.

i stared amid the darkness of the night with only a lone candle to light the sadness of the breeze. tonight is no different from the nights i stood still and thought of you.


i badly want to open my box. find your shirts and pictures lingering in my fingertips as they are neatly wrapped in silk. They seemed to dominate my closet like a hungry dog on the prowl, seeming to growl at me late this night. sometimes, i stared at them at a safe distance trying to figure out the fastest possible way to get rid of them (mail them back to you, perhaps?) I'm sure they'd been sent to destroy me for it did nothing but make me miss you more. Occasionally, they comfort me like hearing your voice on the other line telling me you love me over and over again.

i loved you from the moment you walked on Kara's birthday wearing that red Lacoste shirt and a naughty smile on your face. Or probably because you never misspelled my name while inviting me at your place over a few beers and friends. Or the unwillingness to believe that ChocoBomb was far more agreeable in taste when ritualed with smoke and dust powders (nevertheless, the taste was not compromised. hehehe) or your insistence that i kissed you first the night we were all sober.

its painful to even think about you now. shifting blankets in the middle of the night wishing it was you beside me. things would have been different if i stayed, i know that now.


i don't need boxes wrapped on strings. i just want you. and i couldn't care less if your the last thing under my Christmas tree. I just want you.




I miss you.



I love you.