Too much caffeine and figuring out how to end world hunger was enough to keep me awake. For two weeks now, i have had (?) this sleeping problem and i seriously need some sleep. I gotta stop thinking man. Escapism. God. Help Me. And oh, suddenly i had this impulse of painting my room, PURPLE! I don't know, it seemed like, uhm, like princess-like. You know how every royalty needs to have something purple in their castle. Im not sure about todays generation tho. Maybe the only purple thing in royalties are panties or purple recyclable cups (i saw this one on E-bay which amounted to $14,000. Imagine that!) Or you know the cool thing would be, have my walls wallpapered with newspaper clippings. You know how some teen movies rooms looked so artistic in those. Well, reality check, they are messy! But last year, surprisingly, i didn't receive any violent reactions per se from my mom on vandalizing it literally with favorite book lines and crappy thoughts. But she did insist on putting something about her. Hahaha. How egocentric of my mother, right?
I'm guessing Christmas will be lonely this year. My brother and cousin Shayne cannot make it home. Buuuut, we have fairly numerous of "people" to fill in their absence. From the original trio (of two dogs and one (partly stray coz he's always out socializing with other cats) cat) we brought two hamsters! How cool is that, right? Seriously though, we still couldn't figure out if its hamsters or guinea pigs. They're freakin identical. Plus, were planning to extend our oh so loving family that were buying two white mice and one rabbit. So cool. Definitely zoo-like! My mom said if she'd win the lottery she'd brought me real life zoo-like place. Haha. Hello? Lottery? When's that gonna happen. Still, i'm having my fingers crossed.
I dont know, maybe its not all that bad. I'll be home with cousins, pets, and parents (who's still not talking by the way. I mean, what happened to the season of forgiving, right? Oh well. Its just a matter of getting used to. Hahaha) And oh, i'm looking forward on what will my cousin Era will cook. She always have this crazy ideas of cooking pasta or french sound-like menu. I just hope the Rachel Ray book works. Please just let it be something edible and make Christmas a toilet free day. If you know what i mean. Haha. I too am having my fingers crossed on that.
Ciao!
December 18, 2008
December 14, 2008
relentless possibilities.
WISH MAKING.
the next few steps are coming into focus. i'm doing again a little more (back in historic go-mode), got a little more enthusiasm about projects in production (i'll post a few examples soon), and am generally, you know, stoked. this rainy wonderland atmosphere isn't hurting.
happy sunday, it is positively spilling over with possibility.
HAND HOLDING.
SPONTANEOUS STREET PARTYING
having moments.
they are made, not taken. given, created, cultivated, and curated. they can be stunning, striking, calming, or perplexing.
they intrigue. they inspire.
at this present you-know-what i find myself bundled in a blanket, cuddled on a couch, content with the day well lead, with a belly full of spaghetti (how long has it been oh favorite pasta of mine?).
life is a kick, ain't it?
a true trip.
the next few steps are coming into focus. i'm doing again a little more (back in historic go-mode), got a little more enthusiasm about projects in production (i'll post a few examples soon), and am generally, you know, stoked. this rainy wonderland atmosphere isn't hurting.
happy sunday, it is positively spilling over with possibility.
December 12, 2008
for this moment.
i stared amid the darkness of the night with only a lone candle to light the sadness of the breeze. tonight is no different from the nights i stood still and thought of you.
i badly want to open my box. find your shirts and pictures lingering in my fingertips as they are neatly wrapped in silk. They seemed to dominate my closet like a hungry dog on the prowl, seeming to growl at me late this night. sometimes, i stared at them at a safe distance trying to figure out the fastest possible way to get rid of them (mail them back to you, perhaps?) I'm sure they'd been sent to destroy me for it did nothing but make me miss you more. Occasionally, they comfort me like hearing your voice on the other line telling me you love me over and over again.
i loved you from the moment you walked on Kara's birthday wearing that red Lacoste shirt and a naughty smile on your face. Or probably because you never misspelled my name while inviting me at your place over a few beers and friends. Or the unwillingness to believe that ChocoBomb was far more agreeable in taste when ritualed with smoke and dust powders (nevertheless, the taste was not compromised. hehehe) or your insistence that i kissed you first the night we were all sober.
its painful to even think about you now. shifting blankets in the middle of the night wishing it was you beside me. things would have been different if i stayed, i know that now.
i don't need boxes wrapped on strings. i just want you. and i couldn't care less if your the last thing under my Christmas tree. I just want you.
I miss you.
I love you.
i badly want to open my box. find your shirts and pictures lingering in my fingertips as they are neatly wrapped in silk. They seemed to dominate my closet like a hungry dog on the prowl, seeming to growl at me late this night. sometimes, i stared at them at a safe distance trying to figure out the fastest possible way to get rid of them (mail them back to you, perhaps?) I'm sure they'd been sent to destroy me for it did nothing but make me miss you more. Occasionally, they comfort me like hearing your voice on the other line telling me you love me over and over again.
i loved you from the moment you walked on Kara's birthday wearing that red Lacoste shirt and a naughty smile on your face. Or probably because you never misspelled my name while inviting me at your place over a few beers and friends. Or the unwillingness to believe that ChocoBomb was far more agreeable in taste when ritualed with smoke and dust powders (nevertheless, the taste was not compromised. hehehe) or your insistence that i kissed you first the night we were all sober.
its painful to even think about you now. shifting blankets in the middle of the night wishing it was you beside me. things would have been different if i stayed, i know that now.
i don't need boxes wrapped on strings. i just want you. and i couldn't care less if your the last thing under my Christmas tree. I just want you.
I miss you.
I love you.
June 8, 2008
benigno aquino, jr.
I do not know when it was in my life that I came across the excerpts of his speech. I can honestly tell you it was beyond the lines of academic necessities.
I do remember it was while reading idly that I ran into the words, a great man had wanted to speak upon his arrival to
the country he had hoped to free from oppression and tyranny.
Except that he was forever silenced upon his return.
Still, his words echo into today, louder even, because the tyranny, the wanton disregard of the rights and freedom continues until today–long after we had thought that such tyranny had already been buried beneath the swell of support for the unparalleled popular people uprising that supposedly restored our democracy.
“There can be no deal with a Dictator. No compromise with Dictatorship,” he had planned to say then.
Listen to him now.
For make no doubt about it, we are dealing with a dictator. We are dealing with a dictatorship, one insidious in its villainy–and even then, one that does not do a good job of veiling the callous way by which it rips our very birthright to shreds.
Indeed, he died way before he should have.
The one part of his speech that grabbed me then and continues to disturb my thoughts now is the one where he quotes Gandhi: “[T]he WILLING sacrifice of the innocent is the most powerful answer to insolent tyranny that has yet been conceived by God and man.”
(Capitalization was his)
He willingly sacrificed himself. But it makes me wonder: Had he known then what we all know now, would he have saved that sacrifice to fight off this latest threat to our country?
After all, the leaders have changed and the way of life has been transformed. Tyranny has put on a new face and developed new methods of corruption; of oppression. But one thing remains the same: The Filipino is, as he declared then, worth dying for.
Will always be.
I do remember it was while reading idly that I ran into the words, a great man had wanted to speak upon his arrival to
the country he had hoped to free from oppression and tyranny.Except that he was forever silenced upon his return.
Still, his words echo into today, louder even, because the tyranny, the wanton disregard of the rights and freedom continues until today–long after we had thought that such tyranny had already been buried beneath the swell of support for the unparalleled popular people uprising that supposedly restored our democracy.
“There can be no deal with a Dictator. No compromise with Dictatorship,” he had planned to say then.
Listen to him now.
For make no doubt about it, we are dealing with a dictator. We are dealing with a dictatorship, one insidious in its villainy–and even then, one that does not do a good job of veiling the callous way by which it rips our very birthright to shreds.
Indeed, he died way before he should have.
The one part of his speech that grabbed me then and continues to disturb my thoughts now is the one where he quotes Gandhi: “[T]he WILLING sacrifice of the innocent is the most powerful answer to insolent tyranny that has yet been conceived by God and man.”
(Capitalization was his)
He willingly sacrificed himself. But it makes me wonder: Had he known then what we all know now, would he have saved that sacrifice to fight off this latest threat to our country?
After all, the leaders have changed and the way of life has been transformed. Tyranny has put on a new face and developed new methods of corruption; of oppression. But one thing remains the same: The Filipino is, as he declared then, worth dying for.
Will always be.
May 8, 2008
always been thee.
to my "belinda",
i stayed up awake last night thinking of you. how long has it been? a year or so? 4
93 sunrise and sunsets, yet feels like everything is still the same. The same thrills and shivers when i hear your name or listening to you on the other line saying my name. I can still smell you, lingering in this air of melancholy. I miss you. The way you close your eyes when you sleep and snore, louder than my radio, yet, you remain to be fascinatingly likable. I miss you. The scent of faded rose petals on your jeans and gummy bears on rainy days. The feeling of intoxication in the bitter days of regret and misery. our shared vertigo's. i think of you like it was yesterday. You, me, alone with a cup of hot choco outside the busy streets of Pala-o. The untold love stories above flying cars and twilight zones. Dusts in our feet and sinful goodbyes of ex-boyfriends in our pockets.
everything ended but you were still there, i had you, we had each other. such sweet sorrowful voice in a glass of box, when all i can hear was the car, blowing its horn. Everything was a mistake, yet, twistedly perfect. Yesteryear's of silence did nothing but see a piece of you in every people i meet. You're that words written on crumpled paper. Little things that we take for granted, not noticing that they permit big ideologies to dominate us in the long run. I miss you. Have i said it enough?
I guess all i have (and will always have) are our memories, of barbeque sticks, midnight dances, cup noodles, and fast food spoons. But you, lucky girl, you'll have me. A big chunk of my brain (as if you need it!), this thingamajig that beats, and twinkle toes. I love you, still. You cant get rid of me that easily.
But for now, you're like a fleeting brilliant flash of falling star on my dark summer night. One moment alive, then suddenly gone, maybe forever. The weight of this sad time we must obey; speak what we feel, not what we ought to say. So, are you really getting married or was it part of his teenage angst brigade?
Anticipating,
DEE
i stayed up awake last night thinking of you. how long has it been? a year or so? 4
93 sunrise and sunsets, yet feels like everything is still the same. The same thrills and shivers when i hear your name or listening to you on the other line saying my name. I can still smell you, lingering in this air of melancholy. I miss you. The way you close your eyes when you sleep and snore, louder than my radio, yet, you remain to be fascinatingly likable. I miss you. The scent of faded rose petals on your jeans and gummy bears on rainy days. The feeling of intoxication in the bitter days of regret and misery. our shared vertigo's. i think of you like it was yesterday. You, me, alone with a cup of hot choco outside the busy streets of Pala-o. The untold love stories above flying cars and twilight zones. Dusts in our feet and sinful goodbyes of ex-boyfriends in our pockets.everything ended but you were still there, i had you, we had each other. such sweet sorrowful voice in a glass of box, when all i can hear was the car, blowing its horn. Everything was a mistake, yet, twistedly perfect. Yesteryear's of silence did nothing but see a piece of you in every people i meet. You're that words written on crumpled paper. Little things that we take for granted, not noticing that they permit big ideologies to dominate us in the long run. I miss you. Have i said it enough?
I guess all i have (and will always have) are our memories, of barbeque sticks, midnight dances, cup noodles, and fast food spoons. But you, lucky girl, you'll have me. A big chunk of my brain (as if you need it!), this thingamajig that beats, and twinkle toes. I love you, still. You cant get rid of me that easily.
But for now, you're like a fleeting brilliant flash of falling star on my dark summer night. One moment alive, then suddenly gone, maybe forever. The weight of this sad time we must obey; speak what we feel, not what we ought to say. So, are you really getting married or was it part of his teenage angst brigade?
Anticipating,
DEE
April 29, 2008
kini giyud si jimi :D
Rules of Engagement.
Remove one (1) questions from below, and add in your personal question(I put an asterisk on mine ), make it a total of 20 questions, then tag eight (8) people in your list. List them out at the end of the post.
1. At what age do/did you wish to marry?
- 90.il be dead by den.haha (sorry jeff ;-p)
2. to be or not to be? (sorry, blackouts!) :D
3. Have you ever shoplifted?
- hmm, now ders an idea.haha
4. Where would you like to go to the most?
- an ice cream factory. iv nvr been to one and itd be cool to gobble up all theyr suplies.
5. What is your guilty pleasure?
- food.
Remove one (1) questions from below, and add in your personal question(I put an asterisk on mine ), make it a total of 20 questions, then tag eight (8) people in your list. List them out at the end of the post.
1. At what age do/did you wish to marry?
- 90.il be dead by den.haha (sorry jeff ;-p)
2. to be or not to be? (sorry, blackouts!) :D
3. Have you ever shoplifted?
- hmm, now ders an idea.haha
4. Where would you like to go to the most?
- an ice cream factory. iv nvr been to one and itd be cool to gobble up all theyr suplies.
5. What is your guilty pleasure?
- food.
6. When you encounter a sad moment, what do you do?
- eat. no, i mean, EAT!
7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
- cash it and wallpapered it in my room :D
8. What do you love the most about last year, 2007?
- rockyroad ice cream and pizza. (pasenxa, gigutom mn gud ko.hehe)
8. What do you love the most about last year, 2007?
- rockyroad ice cream and pizza. (pasenxa, gigutom mn gud ko.hehe)
9. List 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
- extrovert.gay (by that, i meant jovial). and smart.
10. How do you cope with boredom?
- hound (harass is the apt word to use, just merely avoiding it) my mom into buying me a book ;)
11. What kind of person do you hate the most?
- hypocritical sons of bitches. (sory sa language ;-p)
12. After you graduate from university, where do you see yourself living?
- two N's. ngo or npa.haha
12. After you graduate from university, where do you see yourself living?
- two N's. ngo or npa.haha
13. If you have one wish, what would you wish for?
- world peace, seriously! :D
14. Given a chance to join a reality show, which one would you join?
- wala. i hate ems.
15. What`s your favourite TV show?
- Gikan sa Masa, Para sa Masa.haha Duterte's funny wen he curse and threat people ;-)
16. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
- y not coconut.
17. What do you remember me most for?
- by me u mean you or me?hahaha
18. If you get to live someone else's life for a day, who's life would you want to live?
- jane felix-browne. duno. got sudenly curious of wat life wud be like wen ur married to a guy twice (younger) ur age and Osama bin Laden as dad-in-law.
19. When you die, what is it you'd like to be remembered for:
- zzzzz
20. Greatest dream?
- ..to live happily ever after :D
18. If you get to live someone else's life for a day, who's life would you want to live?
- jane felix-browne. duno. got sudenly curious of wat life wud be like wen ur married to a guy twice (younger) ur age and Osama bin Laden as dad-in-law.
19. When you die, what is it you'd like to be remembered for:
- zzzzz
20. Greatest dream?
- ..to live happily ever after :D
EIGHT? NAH! IM TAGGING Y'ALL! HAHA :D
April 5, 2008
unbeknownst to many - or maybe not.
Since I'm turning 18 tomorrow, i owe myself a little space and think inside the box. Haha Or i think this is called pondering or looking back. Heck, i don't know. This may turn out to be one of those emo slash cheesy blogs. Haha. Anyhoo, here goes:
1. No matter how atypical a person may be, he can at times be boring. Especially when he valiantly try to be oh so cool. Remember, only YOU can prevent mediocrity :-)
2. I think people love to be in-love because there's a vacuum in all of us that needs to get filled up all the time and which unfortunately (favored-ly to others) attracts the wrong types constantly in both sexes. So next time, ask yourselves this, "Do you see your worth only through the eyes of the other person, or do feel your only alive if your in-love?"
3. Funny, when i broke up with my ex-bf (Mr. R.F.Mollion), i couldn't give myself one substantial reason why i cried so hard. Not that he was such a loss, instead, life with him was a living hell. Disastrous. I think it was just a manifestation of adolescent (or teen) rebellion on my part. If Kuya hadn't howled about him, id dumped I'm long before. I even dedicated the song Sweet Escape to him. I mean, hello? How corny can i get? Haha. So, always remember how short life is. A few years, or months in a miserable relationship could be such hell. And you know the, "the-one-that-got-away syndrome"? Turn the tables around and you could be the one he lost by sheer insensitivity. Aaaand, real peace and happiness comes only with open acceptance (a very pageantry phrase) :-)
4. My parents gave us the freedom to choose what to believe until we were old enough to realize and/or know things. They think its child abuse to let a child embrace religion when he's too young to even understand something. I was never baptised and later on adopted agnosticism. I experienced dereliction and even ridicule, that is until i fought back. Haha. i mean not all who go to church are saints and not all who stay at home are sinners. In fact, i think we are the lesser evils. Haha :D
5. I don't know what to call my family. Haha. I'm not even sure if we're a family. Hehe. My folks were never married legally, although my mother insist twas legal - SA BUKID! Haha. And why my parents was married in the boondocks? Sorry, i cant tell you. No, cant do. Hihihi ;-p But they live under one roof and on one bed (hmm, that makes em live-ins? Haha!) but they haven't talk since last year or was that last last year? More like divorced folks. And I'm telling you, IT IS REALLY HARD. *stress on really please, thank you* My father's only home during weekends. Hes always away, working. And my mothers always nagging or maybe its her PMS. Hehe. I think i never really loved them. But i should. I'm obligated to. Oh well *sigh*
6. My kuya, Rojo Bagani N. Acebedo, half-brother actually, hes fr
om the
first husband of my mother. (You see, egat si Mama sauna. Haha!) His father died during, uhm, i guess you could call it a military encounter. His name actually means Red Warrior. On the other hand, Proleta N. Gomez, shes the sister and a lousy one. And i havta admit, shes the pretty one. Hehe Her name came from the word Proletariat w/c means working class (or you could Google it). She sometimes uses her other name, ARMADEM (Armas ng Demokrasya). She claims she has a birth certificate on that, we let her languish in her fantasies. Hehe
7. When i was 8, i hated my name. Nobody can seem to pronounce it perfectly. My teacher used to call me 'Dimdim'. Oh god, the horror! Some would eventually spell it as Dimsin. Worse, some thought i was a guy. JUSKO! My birth certificate even states IM A MALE! And it takes P20,000 for a legal "sex change", minus the attorney's fee. And that's why i couldn't get a passport. Well, yes, thank you very much whoever you are that messed up my papers.
8. Expressing, that's my failing. I don't know how to say words that demonstrate emotion. They embarrass me. But believe me, i do have feelings. Oftentimes, when i try to talk to my father, i get tongue-tied and end up crying. I'm such a cry baby. But perhaps i was given no words because there is no need for words - OR NOT! Maybe he thinks I'm dumb. Haha. Well, who's dumber now, ha? Okay, whatever.
9. Yesterday, as i was telling my boyfriend my plans, he right there and then, hated me. Haha. he thinks I'm stupid, although he cant seem to win over our arguments. He hated the fact that id rather choose arm struggle than peaceful way of dealing things. I mean, what peaceful way? We haven't even struggled our ass to freedom. He said he'd wait on change to happen, to rely on other people to do the fighting. So, that makes him one of the 80 million cowards in this country. Id rightfully sacrifice my education. Better uneducated and fight for what should be ours than be privileged and let someone enthroned on gold amid adulation they had neither earned nor deserve. My mother once told me that, if i don't want to fight for the country, then get out, migrate and see maggots of conscience creeps into every inch of my soul. Well, what can i do? I hate maggots. Hehe
10. I'm planning to write a book... That is, until i get a laptop.
Follow-ups next time. I really need to poo. Haha. Seriously! :D
1. No matter how atypical a person may be, he can at times be boring. Especially when he valiantly try to be oh so cool. Remember, only YOU can prevent mediocrity :-)
2. I think people love to be in-love because there's a vacuum in all of us that needs to get filled up all the time and which unfortunately (favored-ly to others) attracts the wrong types constantly in both sexes. So next time, ask yourselves this, "Do you see your worth only through the eyes of the other person, or do feel your only alive if your in-love?"
3. Funny, when i broke up with my ex-bf (Mr. R.F.Mollion), i couldn't give myself one substantial reason why i cried so hard. Not that he was such a loss, instead, life with him was a living hell. Disastrous. I think it was just a manifestation of adolescent (or teen) rebellion on my part. If Kuya hadn't howled about him, id dumped I'm long before. I even dedicated the song Sweet Escape to him. I mean, hello? How corny can i get? Haha. So, always remember how short life is. A few years, or months in a miserable relationship could be such hell. And you know the, "the-one-that-got-away syndrome"? Turn the tables around and you could be the one he lost by sheer insensitivity. Aaaand, real peace and happiness comes only with open acceptance (a very pageantry phrase) :-)
4. My parents gave us the freedom to choose what to believe until we were old enough to realize and/or know things. They think its child abuse to let a child embrace religion when he's too young to even understand something. I was never baptised and later on adopted agnosticism. I experienced dereliction and even ridicule, that is until i fought back. Haha. i mean not all who go to church are saints and not all who stay at home are sinners. In fact, i think we are the lesser evils. Haha :D
5. I don't know what to call my family. Haha. I'm not even sure if we're a family. Hehe. My folks were never married legally, although my mother insist twas legal - SA BUKID! Haha. And why my parents was married in the boondocks? Sorry, i cant tell you. No, cant do. Hihihi ;-p But they live under one roof and on one bed (hmm, that makes em live-ins? Haha!) but they haven't talk since last year or was that last last year? More like divorced folks. And I'm telling you, IT IS REALLY HARD. *stress on really please, thank you* My father's only home during weekends. Hes always away, working. And my mothers always nagging or maybe its her PMS. Hehe. I think i never really loved them. But i should. I'm obligated to. Oh well *sigh*
6. My kuya, Rojo Bagani N. Acebedo, half-brother actually, hes fr
om the
first husband of my mother. (You see, egat si Mama sauna. Haha!) His father died during, uhm, i guess you could call it a military encounter. His name actually means Red Warrior. On the other hand, Proleta N. Gomez, shes the sister and a lousy one. And i havta admit, shes the pretty one. Hehe Her name came from the word Proletariat w/c means working class (or you could Google it). She sometimes uses her other name, ARMADEM (Armas ng Demokrasya). She claims she has a birth certificate on that, we let her languish in her fantasies. Hehe7. When i was 8, i hated my name. Nobody can seem to pronounce it perfectly. My teacher used to call me 'Dimdim'. Oh god, the horror! Some would eventually spell it as Dimsin. Worse, some thought i was a guy. JUSKO! My birth certificate even states IM A MALE! And it takes P20,000 for a legal "sex change", minus the attorney's fee. And that's why i couldn't get a passport. Well, yes, thank you very much whoever you are that messed up my papers.
8. Expressing, that's my failing. I don't know how to say words that demonstrate emotion. They embarrass me. But believe me, i do have feelings. Oftentimes, when i try to talk to my father, i get tongue-tied and end up crying. I'm such a cry baby. But perhaps i was given no words because there is no need for words - OR NOT! Maybe he thinks I'm dumb. Haha. Well, who's dumber now, ha? Okay, whatever.
9. Yesterday, as i was telling my boyfriend my plans, he right there and then, hated me. Haha. he thinks I'm stupid, although he cant seem to win over our arguments. He hated the fact that id rather choose arm struggle than peaceful way of dealing things. I mean, what peaceful way? We haven't even struggled our ass to freedom. He said he'd wait on change to happen, to rely on other people to do the fighting. So, that makes him one of the 80 million cowards in this country. Id rightfully sacrifice my education. Better uneducated and fight for what should be ours than be privileged and let someone enthroned on gold amid adulation they had neither earned nor deserve. My mother once told me that, if i don't want to fight for the country, then get out, migrate and see maggots of conscience creeps into every inch of my soul. Well, what can i do? I hate maggots. Hehe
10. I'm planning to write a book... That is, until i get a laptop.
Follow-ups next time. I really need to poo. Haha. Seriously! :D
March 29, 2008
schadenfreude
Last night, a talk show guested Tessa Prieto-Valdez, all was trashy bourgeoisie stuff but she was right on one thing though, WE ARE ALL JUST A TINY SPECK IN THIS WORLD. Generalization: people should ought to stop thinking (or talking) about emselves. Ironically, twas weird hearing it from someone who dresses unconventionally just to be talked about (or i don't know, maybe its just her fashion style. well, if that's the case, she should really get a stylist. don't worry Tessa, you're not alone).
I finished reading the evuuur controversial blog of Brian Gorrell, if you have no idea, read the papers. haha OOOOR click on this.
Well, he is definitely hitting on something BIG, the Lopezes, Tim Yap, Tinio, etc. Average ugly (Haha) people, only, with lots of money who cant function really well without cocaine and some booze. What can you expect from the high society of a Third World Country.
But, the bigger issues are still afloat. Address them, i will. Act on them, we will.
I believe that the Filipino masses are the real strength and soul of the country, but that tiny, corrupt, soft and decadent ruling elite had usurped all our rights and monopolized resources.
But if one fights right up to the ball, one can win in impossible situations. And one losses only when one gives up. Failure, i found, was sometimes more useful than success - provided you made a careful diagnosis of your defeat and then worked hard to eliminate your flaws. Losing is a disaster only if you let it demoralize you. The more one challenge one self and took risks, the stronger and better one became.
I realized that an independent judiciary was integral in protecting the weak from the powerful, the poor from the elite, and ushering genuine democracy and prosperity in my homeland. The system in the Philippines had evolved into the point where criminals and crooks would enter politics by whatever means necessary, since winning office afforded them virtual immunity from prosecution. Nepotism (as well) disgust me like a rotten apple in the hands of Eve.
Majority should belong to an anti-status quo party. We should struggle for judicial independence and social and economic justice. In a country where there are vast disparities in income and wealth and where millions, like us, live in poverty, the privilege (people with access to proper education and the opportunities it brings) should start changing things. Being privileged imposes an obligation as well, an obligation to a cause larger than one self. And that is what they should spend their latter years trying to fulfill instead of plotting how to harness more money, money, money.
Now, if we tolerate more people (like the Gucci Gang), where the hell are we heading to then? We are feeding the addiction of others, and killing the lives of children. My niece don't know what corruption is, but she is paying for it. Schadenfreude; simultaneously delicious and horrible, perhaps like eating chocolate-covered-cockroaches.
I finished reading the evuuur controversial blog of Brian Gorrell, if you have no idea, read the papers. haha OOOOR click on this.
Well, he is definitely hitting on something BIG, the Lopezes, Tim Yap, Tinio, etc. Average ugly (Haha) people, only, with lots of money who cant function really well without cocaine and some booze. What can you expect from the high society of a Third World Country.
But, the bigger issues are still afloat. Address them, i will. Act on them, we will.
I believe that the Filipino masses are the real strength and soul of the country, but that tiny, corrupt, soft and decadent ruling elite had usurped all our rights and monopolized resources.
But if one fights right up to the ball, one can win in impossible situations. And one losses only when one gives up. Failure, i found, was sometimes more useful than success - provided you made a careful diagnosis of your defeat and then worked hard to eliminate your flaws. Losing is a disaster only if you let it demoralize you. The more one challenge one self and took risks, the stronger and better one became.
I realized that an independent judiciary was integral in protecting the weak from the powerful, the poor from the elite, and ushering genuine democracy and prosperity in my homeland. The system in the Philippines had evolved into the point where criminals and crooks would enter politics by whatever means necessary, since winning office afforded them virtual immunity from prosecution. Nepotism (as well) disgust me like a rotten apple in the hands of Eve.
Majority should belong to an anti-status quo party. We should struggle for judicial independence and social and economic justice. In a country where there are vast disparities in income and wealth and where millions, like us, live in poverty, the privilege (people with access to proper education and the opportunities it brings) should start changing things. Being privileged imposes an obligation as well, an obligation to a cause larger than one self. And that is what they should spend their latter years trying to fulfill instead of plotting how to harness more money, money, money.
Now, if we tolerate more people (like the Gucci Gang), where the hell are we heading to then? We are feeding the addiction of others, and killing the lives of children. My niece don't know what corruption is, but she is paying for it. Schadenfreude; simultaneously delicious and horrible, perhaps like eating chocolate-covered-cockroaches.
March 6, 2008
CONFUSE pt.1
I have been reading Greek myths again for the past few days, which i think is only a moral beat or two away from being the most all-encompassing minds/stories i have ever encountered. 
And then a realization: MAYBE HE'S A MISTAKE. I'm thinking of myself as a magnificent twelve-by-twelve foot oriental rug spread across a palace floor, displayed for all to admire and enjoy. Now, I'm thinking of Jeff as a twelve-by-twelve inch finely hewn box sitting over on the nearby table... What we (i) do -- is madly try to stuff my 12x12 foot dimensions into his 12x12 inch dimensions. It wont fit. Maybe Jeff and I don't fit, at all. It doesn't mean one is better than the other, maybe were just intrinsically different. A MISMATCH!
I dunno. I'm challenging myself to consider my needs as a hindrance to my otherwise limitless journey -- my quest for the mundane. This'll just pass, I HOPE :D
March 5, 2008
the power and stupidity of the mob
People power is a reminder of how momentous people can start a revolutionary act when they withdraw consent to the existing government. And it will always remain a mark on peoples heart how strong people can be when united.
Rec
alling at the infamous people power I, it was the assassination of Benigno Aquino that lit the fire that eventually consume Marcos regime. Of course, they experience election fraud, manipulation of public opinion, martial law, limited civil rights and federal threat whom go against the government. Arrest and assassinations kept the public living in fear. Murders was widespread. Students, activist, rebels, politicians - no one was spared and many was killed in rallies.
alling at the infamous people power I, it was the assassination of Benigno Aquino that lit the fire that eventually consume Marcos regime. Of course, they experience election fraud, manipulation of public opinion, martial law, limited civil rights and federal threat whom go against the government. Arrest and assassinations kept the public living in fear. Murders was widespread. Students, activist, rebels, politicians - no one was spared and many was killed in rallies. And now, this. After 23 years (since i never really considered Edsa II as a people power but euphoric when Estrada was ousted), the opposition plans to hold a big rally, where it aims to get a million people in the streets to push President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo out of Malacañang, reminiscent of the EDSA People Power I and II uprisings.
The politics of hatred is nowhere more apparent than in the Senate. For instance, Sen. Jamby Madrigal threatened at the Senate hearings to divulge all the unsavory things she knew about Commission on Higher Education Chair Romy Neri if he refused to testify. That is blackmail. While Madrigal bears a name fabled for its wealth, her manners are worse than those of the least educated jeepney driver.
The politics of hatred is nowhere more apparent than in the Senate. For instance, Sen. Jamby Madrigal threatened at the Senate hearings to divulge all the unsavory things she knew about Commission on Higher Education Chair Romy Neri if he refused to testify. That is blackmail. While Madrigal bears a name fabled for its wealth, her manners are worse than those of the least educated jeepney driver.
Equally sad is that Cory Aquino now likens star witness Jun Lozada to Ninoy Aquino and Bishop Teodoro Bacani compares him to Jesus Christ. As Pascual noted, thanks to adoring media, every utterance of this witness, whose stewardship at government-controlled Philippine Forest Corp. was marked by graft and nepotism, is swallowed by the public as gospel truth, even though he has not presented a shred of evidence. To paraphrase Shakespeare, many have lost their reason. We must all pause and pray until it comes back to our society.
For every idiocy of Filipinos, (to quote Newton, for every action, there's equal but opposite reaction) I vote NO to oust Gloria. BETTER HER THAN A MILI
TARY JUNTA, since they are also calling for the ouster of De Castro. And Jun Lozada is no hero, every citizen, every public official has the duty to serve the people with all honesty. He did the right thing, but did not deserve the celebrity treatment for he, as well, stole from us. He is no God. And for once, the CBCP did the right decision to abandon the mob, call for truth and spared Gloria. She is corrupt, but what can we do? We have no choice, politicians alike are all the same. Worse, Estrada is trying to bend the constitution and publicizing the possibility of running for presidency - AGAIN! oh boy. And did we not put GMA in the her position anyway with our People Power II? Yes they are all puppets, they are all greedy. And we are a hopeless case unless someone with a big hammerhead change the system.
TARY JUNTA, since they are also calling for the ouster of De Castro. And Jun Lozada is no hero, every citizen, every public official has the duty to serve the people with all honesty. He did the right thing, but did not deserve the celebrity treatment for he, as well, stole from us. He is no God. And for once, the CBCP did the right decision to abandon the mob, call for truth and spared Gloria. She is corrupt, but what can we do? We have no choice, politicians alike are all the same. Worse, Estrada is trying to bend the constitution and publicizing the possibility of running for presidency - AGAIN! oh boy. And did we not put GMA in the her position anyway with our People Power II? Yes they are all puppets, they are all greedy. And we are a hopeless case unless someone with a big hammerhead change the system.But okay, lets give this issue the benefit of the doubt, lets assume People power III will happen and some Trapo (traditional politician) will assume the presidency. After violent revolutions, and never ending rallies, there will always be scores to settle, grudges to satisfy, revenge to extract and the cycle of violence will continue.
While in the past the Philippine revolution deposed a powerful dictator and a corrupt leader, it left much of the old centralized power structure unchanged. The new President was from a wealthy family. The poor were still poor, and the rich was still in charge. Capitalism emerged stronger than ever. And so, the question lies, WHEN WILL FILIPINOS EVER LEARN? Change, systematically and diplomatically, will not come in this country, THERE IS NO HOPE.
February 27, 2008
every Trapo's spiked bed
Only the naive believe that the overthrow of JDV was motivated by altruistic or nationalistic reasons. There was hardly any pretense that this was being maneuvered for the sake of national interest.
all this fig leaves meant to disguise the naked greed of the congressmen, all the orations about "reform" and "change" w
ere shibboleths, words long stripped of their real meaning, concepts long ago discarded as outmoded by the House. they were excuses which time and again the congressmen who rose to register their votes revealed as secondary. To what? their projects, their pork. of course, if they wont supersede what the arroyo admin wants, they can make it really hard for you - AND YOUR PORK BARREL!
its a cautionary tale about power. But De Venecia's fall is not the cause for public revulsion at what transpired in the House. Instead, its the sight of old and young leaders united by avarice and blinded by ambition. The baptism into congressional politics received by the 84 neophytes at the House makes it truly deserving of what was said by Arsenio Lacson of Ernseto Maceda, who ironically sat as witness to the Monday night rub out: "SO YOUNG, AND YET SO....." ALL OF THEM.
It was a sign that what the House has because will persist: a lapdog institution, with no sense of independence or integrity, heedless of its constitutional prerogatives. And of a unicameral pseudo-parliamentary system to come, ruled by ruthless First Family of political buccaneers. No one can have any illusions, at this point, that their appetite, always unbounded, is now out of control.
These are "TRAPO'S;" through and through, the word "trapo" or rag nowhere being more appropriate. Rag are the repository of dirt whose ultimate destination is the garbage dump, or should be. We've excoriated entertainers for polluting politics with their breath. Well, "trapos" are worse, far far worse. Entertainers stop being entertainers when they are elected into office. Traditional politicians stop being traditional when they are elected into office, only in the sense that they blaze new paths in crookedness, murderousness and ripping off the public. PRAY, HOW DOES PROSPERO NOGRALES REPRESENT AN IMPROVEMENT IN OUR LIVES IN PLACE OF DE VENECIA??
For us, public, they don't really care what we think, we are just viewers of their catastrophic actions. Jun Lozada was right, Pilipino does not simply constitute one family, it means one nation. And sometimes, its worth taking a risk for, for this country.
The trapo's trapo has fallen from his perch, but is there reason to hope that a statesman has been born in his place? Looking at Nograles, i say THERE'S NO HOPE.
They are the ones making spike at their beds, when will the people make them lie in it?
all this fig leaves meant to disguise the naked greed of the congressmen, all the orations about "reform" and "change" w
ere shibboleths, words long stripped of their real meaning, concepts long ago discarded as outmoded by the House. they were excuses which time and again the congressmen who rose to register their votes revealed as secondary. To what? their projects, their pork. of course, if they wont supersede what the arroyo admin wants, they can make it really hard for you - AND YOUR PORK BARREL!its a cautionary tale about power. But De Venecia's fall is not the cause for public revulsion at what transpired in the House. Instead, its the sight of old and young leaders united by avarice and blinded by ambition. The baptism into congressional politics received by the 84 neophytes at the House makes it truly deserving of what was said by Arsenio Lacson of Ernseto Maceda, who ironically sat as witness to the Monday night rub out: "SO YOUNG, AND YET SO....." ALL OF THEM.
It was a sign that what the House has because will persist: a lapdog institution, with no sense of independence or integrity, heedless of its constitutional prerogatives. And of a unicameral pseudo-parliamentary system to come, ruled by ruthless First Family of political buccaneers. No one can have any illusions, at this point, that their appetite, always unbounded, is now out of control.
These are "TRAPO'S;" through and through, the word "trapo" or rag nowhere being more appropriate. Rag are the repository of dirt whose ultimate destination is the garbage dump, or should be. We've excoriated entertainers for polluting politics with their breath. Well, "trapos" are worse, far far worse. Entertainers stop being entertainers when they are elected into office. Traditional politicians stop being traditional when they are elected into office, only in the sense that they blaze new paths in crookedness, murderousness and ripping off the public. PRAY, HOW DOES PROSPERO NOGRALES REPRESENT AN IMPROVEMENT IN OUR LIVES IN PLACE OF DE VENECIA??
For us, public, they don't really care what we think, we are just viewers of their catastrophic actions. Jun Lozada was right, Pilipino does not simply constitute one family, it means one nation. And sometimes, its worth taking a risk for, for this country.
The trapo's trapo has fallen from his perch, but is there reason to hope that a statesman has been born in his place? Looking at Nograles, i say THERE'S NO HOPE.
They are the ones making spike at their beds, when will the people make them lie in it?
February 20, 2008
at the peak of your own shoes.
For seventeen years, i have been in constant search for the one, the one thing that would stamp my heart with massive contentment. No, no, no. I'm not in search for love; I'm looking for more substantial bliss. I'm entirely honest when i say until now, I'm still wondering what an ordinary bloke like me 
doing in this topsy-turvy world.
doing in this topsy-turvy world.Most people don't realize that you are your own worst adjudicator. I find myself probably the most uncool person in this universe (or maybe just here in the Philippines. hehe). Unlike the majority of kiddos in my generation, I'm not entirely convinced with the Orwellian newspeak categories of cool, totally cool, and awesome. I'm obsessed with Snakes and Ladders, dictionaries, and Philosophy, and my Usb used to have a name, which - lets be honest is quite geeky.
On Saturdays, you will most probably find me either at a bookstore trying to look smart, or at our university's sprawling cafeteria eating maruya. And as much as i would not like to reveal this, my lone purpose every time i got to El Centro (or C5 look-alike bars in Davao or Cdo) is to drink drupes shake.
But you wouldn't know how unexciting i am until you have (or live) with me. But no, really, I'm not totally saying I'm the worst roommate. I don't know, Nikki seems to love me still despite the constant nagging she receives every time she comes home early morning. Hahahaha. She just detest seeing me cooked up reading all day, rather than our usual food tripping. I'm not different, i just digress.
You see, i sometimes forget that aside from the constant learning, life also hand you over trials and merriment which very much espouses individuality and keeps you true to one's self.
A professor once told us in class that, "If you're a shoemaker, be the best shoemaker there is. Don't try to be a doctor." One important lesson I've learned from the past years is that whoever you are, or whatever state in life may be, you can do something sizable. Think for a second how beautiful that is. And hey, you can actually change things even how ordinary you are.
T.S Eliot once wrote, "There is a very large number of people in the world today who believe that all ills are fundamentally economic." The glitch is that we tend to confuse ourselves by treating reality based on what is plainly negotiated - engrossing too much on ideologies, and forgetting that people are starving.Ironically, we humans choose to focus our binoculars on the bigger problems, which are really impossible to be solved instantaneously. History has taught us again and again that there is no other way to get out of an excruciating mess than by starting with our own selves, by being the best shoemaker in the world.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
